Week 9

My bone stimulator finally arrived yesterday. It's light, portable and I have to wear it for 3 hours a day but I can do it in 60 minute increments. I can walk while wearing it too. I'm wearing it over the fixator right now. 

I had my appointment today. I was scheduled to have the ex-fix removed, however because it took so long for the bone stim. to arrive my doc said he would feel more comfortable removing it two weeks from now. To say that I was disappointed would be an understatement...on a positive note the new x-ray shows even more growth so I do find comfort in knowing that I did pretty good on my own. He just wants me to wear the bone stim. for at least 2 weeks before removal so that my metatarsal will be that much stronger. It makes sense. And at this point even though I'm barely winding down from the feeling of betrayal (LOL), I feel like what's another 2 weeks? I was supposed to be staying at the beach this weekend to celebrate but like they say: life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Maybe I can still go and just use my cast cover ;)

Here's my x-ray:

My scab came completely off. It was really thick and deep where the 2 pins closest to my toes are. Also my toe is very straight (it almost looks jarring looking at it from the right side as the rest are my toes curve down while at rest) so I asked about it. The doc says I can start pushing it downward at the base of the toe to help  with that and I'll also have therapy once the fixator is off. So anyway here we go again with the waiting! At least this time around I already know my bone is doing great :D

Week 7

Just got back from my appointment and I have so much great news! My x-rays show bone growth! My brachytoe pin was removed! My bone stimulator is on the way! My fixator is coming off in 2 weeks!!

Here is my xray:

A sight for my sore eyes. Because of this my doc says that at my next appointment (in 2 weeks) the fixator will be removed! He looked at my scab and said that it looks great and not to poke at it, it will fall off on it's own. Then told me I can now get my entire foot wet! This means I can thoroughly and more comfortably scrape off the reptile skin my foot has decided to grow and it's now ok if the hardware gets wet.

Then he took out some gauze squares and placed them around my toe. He was talking about how most patients don't feel the k-wire (aka brachytoe pin) when he takes it out; at the same time he started turning mine and in 3 short pulls quickly removed it from my toe. It stung slightly for a millisecond but mainly felt weird/cool because you feel it in your bone. My toe bled a tiny bit; all in all it was no big deal and I got some pink gauze out of it ;)

As for weight bearing he said I can do what feels comfortable. I confessed to him that I started walking yesterday and he says that's fine as long as I'm not in pain. Yes, that's right I started slowly walking around yesterday without crutches and it was awesome if not surreal! The only downside is the swelling afterwards but I've been told it's normal. There's gonna be swelling for a while so I intend to keep my foot elevated and ice packed when not in use LOL. Also those purplish bruise-looking marks on my foot have gone away. Yay!

And last but not least there is the business of the bone stimulator. I received a call from the bone stim. company stating that my insurance would not cover it. They said it costs $3000 but they could sell it to me for $1000 at either a lump sum or 12 monthly payments. They also mentioned that they offer a financial waiver to cover the entire cost but you have to meet certain criteria. I'll be contacted by my doc's office when mine comes in :)

This past week went pretty quickly although my restless legs has been out of control. I don't take anything for it because exercise keeps it at bay for me so this must be due to lack of exercise. That won't be a problem for much longer.

Starting Week 6

Here's a picture of my final length @ 22mm. My foot is a little swollen from being out and about. The pin in my toe makes it straight so hopefully when it's taken out my toe will curve down slightly like the toe on my left foot. I fear it will be limp but I've been assured that it won't since my tendon has been adjusting this whole time. Also, I've been putting more and more weight on my foot while still using crutches. It's getting easier to do. 

It's a strange feeling having family and friends over and not covering my foot. I haven't been honest with them (the ones that don't know about my brachy). They just think I broke my foot. To this day I don't feel like I can be open about it which is sort of sad; creating this blog feels like a big step. Personally this confirms to me that I would have never gotten over it or embraced it. Even now...do I no longer have brachy because my toe is long? Am I cured? Can surgery be considered a cure if I can still pass it on? Nobody else in my immediate or extended family has it. I'm the only one. I've read about other brachy-people (<--I use this term for lack of a better word, a toe does not a person make) with siblings or cousins or an aunt that have it too. Not me. And honestly I'm not sure having a family member with brachy would have helped me feel any better. Having brachy wasn't my fault but I know I would feel so guilty if one of my nieces got it. They're too young to tell. But if nobody else in my family has it does that mean mine isn't hereditary? Did I suffer trauma to my foot when I was too young to remember which caused the growth plate to close too early? I did have some sporty accidents but nothing major... so which is it? Whichever it is my insurance covered the surgery so even if sometimes I struggle with the "why me?" mentality at least I can see how fortunate I am to be able to get it done and over with. Only I kinda feel like a sell out, like I should have been confident enough to be ok with it. That was never gonna happen. Ugh. Yep this is all the type of stuff that crosses the mind of someone with brachy. 

On a lighter note, every time I glance at my foot now I feel like I have too many toes haha! After years of only ever showing the first 2-3 toes in peep toe sandals this is definitely something to get used to :)

Needless to say, I'm so ready for this fixator to come off. There's no pain now, it's just bulky. Reading all the brachy blogs and forums I came across, I found that the average length of time with the fixator on is 89 days with the least time being 64 days and the highest being 110 days. My next appointment is over a week from now so hopefully that's when I'll find out when the fixator is coming off and hopefully it'll be soon! I want to be in that 60 day-ish range ;) Thanks for listening to my rantings.